Secrets untold
by Yuta
Summary: POV's... are't they greate? Don't you love them? No? The what the $&%/& are you doing reading them? The staff before going to USA.


Yuta: I KNOW! I should be working in the "wailing woman and the faceless man" But I can't, so you'll just have to wait a lot. I know it sounds mean but I'm in the middle of exams and I can't work for as long as I'd like to in my puter. Zel: SEE? We don't appear here anymore! You just don't love me! Yuta: Yeah... Uhm.. well...Look Zel-chan! Celebrity Deathmatch started! Zel: Really? Runs to see the TV Yuta. Okay, the chars don't belong to me.  
  
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When I first met you, when I first saw you, I tough you were worthless, worthless of my company, of my help and training. Now I know the truth. I am the one that doesn't deserve you, your smiles and your presence. But that doesn't mean I don't long for them.  
  
I depend on you Yoh. If something happened to you I probably would go mad and end up killing myself, you don't know that, do you? Of course you don't. I never let my feeling get the better of me. If I did that, I wouldn't be strong.  
  
Who am I kidding? I am not strong, I'm a coward and childish. I need you to keep living. I would follow you anywhere Yoh; I wouldn't care to end up in a grave just for the chance of being with you. Maybe I'll tell you that someday. Maybe. Would you answer those words? That would be nice.  
  
Anna the fierce Itako, the heartless bitch that pushed you always one step closer to what seems to be your doom. Do you think I don't know what the rest think about me? I can read their toughs. Provably they don't even know they are thinking about it, but I do. It hurts. It's always hurt to be feared and hated. You know that Yoh? Even if it seems impossible I know you do. I've never read your toughs anyway. I fear to do it. What would I find there? Dejection, despair, hate? Do you hate me Yoh? Because I love you. Even if it seems impossible. Even if I'll never say it. I can't deny a thing to you, even if it looks like if I did. My hard training and mean attitude are my gift for you, Yoh. Do you think you'd be still alive if it wasn't for it? I doubt it. You wouldn't have survived like you've been doing until now. So I will continue to torture you, even if you dislike it.  
  
You control me in more than one way, Yoh. I need your acceptance, but I don't know how to win it. I don't know why do I even care. Manta and Tamao seem to be closer to your heart than me. I pretend not to care, but I do. But I don't hate them. My hate would make you sad, and the last thing I want in the world is make you feel like that. Is not a pretty feeling, I know about it. You do too. You used to hate all them. They were mean to you, to us. Most people are cruel Yoh, unlike you. I saw you cry more than once Yoh, I believe that besides your grandfather and grandmother I am the only one that ever saw you cry. Loneliness and rejection hurts, we shared both of them. I don't hate them, but envy them. You didn't came for dinner tonight. "Tonight I'm the one crying."  
  
It has always been like that for us. Or at least was. Now you have friends. I wasn't made for friends... You are different tough. You are my friend and the most important person to me. I swear you'll be my doom someday Yoh. When did all this started? How? You risked so much for me. How not to love you Yoh? I'm not the only one that needs you, your friends need you too. Please stay alive, if not for me, for them then. I don't care. I don't care if you love me or you don't. I do. I will never say it, but I do. You said farewell to everything and everyone. Less me. "Tomorrow you won't be here."  
  
Why Yoh? Why do you always do what I tell you to? You feel like if you should. You never made me cry Yoh. I cried for myself, for my lack of courage to admit you I thanked your offers of friendship. You always provide happiness to the ones that live around you. That's your strength, Yoh Asakura. "Yoh. you have become truly strong. "  
  
It's true you've become stronger, stronger than most of the shamans. But there are always enemies stronger than you. A shocked expression? I dislike it Yoh. I always prefer to see you smile. I don't want to see you fight. Hao is crazy and could kill you. You know that already don't you? "Today I'm going to make an exception." An exception to my pride and selfishness. "I'm going to sleep with you. "  
  
  
  
You agree? Thank you.  
  
  
  
What? Of course I still want to become Shaman King's first lady, but only because you will become Shaman King. But if to become that there is a strong chance o loosing you I prefer to become a housewife. A smile in your lips? Yeah, the idea of me rising five children and taking care of the house is a bit strange, if not bizarre. You are snickering? Baka. It wouldn't be THAT strange. But like always it makes me happy to see you like that. Maybe I envy your happiness a little.  
  
You smile again? That pleases me. You know that already, don't you? I bet you do. I like your hands around my body, I like your warmth. "Yoh...Please. Be careful."  
  
You are not laughing now; I rest my head under your chin like a kid. That's what we all are, even if we don't act like them. You play with my hair. Stop? No, I like it, you can do it. Yes, I will be good with Manta, even if the short brat drives me crazy, he is a hysteric. What do you mean I'm one too? I should punish you for that, but you snicker again and hug me closer, and I don't feel like doing it anymore.  
  
Uh? *I* know you more than anyone? Why so? I tough that one was Manta. No, I don't sound jealous, I AM jealous.  
  
You look shocked Yoh, why wouldn't I be? You were planning on leaving me without saying goodbye, only to spend more time with him, you.... Yes, I am crying. Don't think is your fault, you never did anything to make me cry. It's just me... You are right, I should trust more in you. I do, but I can 't help but worry about it. I'm sorry.  
  
This is the last nigh we'll see in long time Yoh, and I am scared... A kiss? I've never been kissed before, you have never done it either? Now I am blushing. Great. You chuckle again. I look cute? Ah, thanks. There is always a tomorrow? Might be true, but we will have this night for us at least. Goodnight.  
  
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Yuta: OHOHOHOHOHOHOHOHO! Wasn't that sweet? Ren: Let's put it in this way, if I were diabetic, I would be dead by now. Neko-cha: What's wrong with this kind of stuff, Tao Len? You like this crap when it involves you and the Horo-child. Ren: Of course I do! In fact this story would be much better if it was about him! Bison. B-but why master Ren? Ren: suddenly dressed in a pink dress with lots of ribbons and a white flower in that thing he has in his hair. Because he is a cutie, a lovely little one and every time I see him I feel like floating in a cloud. Jun: Thanks God dad is no around to see this...sweatdrop 


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